Monday 30 September 2013

I Was On T.V. Today

Well, the show doesn't air until November, but I somehow found myself in a television studio during school today. The events of the day are as follows:

6:30 am: Matthew is put on stage in front of the entire school during the flag raising ceremony. He is told to introduce himself in Bahasa Indonesia. Within a few minutes, all of the students have met Matthew and he has completely exhausted his Indonesian vocabulary.

7:30 am: Matthew is told to teach his first English class about adverbial conjunctions.

7:31 am: Matthew quickly looks up adverbial conjunctions in student's grammar book. He proceeds to wing a lesson, using 'student-centered learning' techniques to buy time to read more about adverbial conjunctions.

12:00 pm: Matthew is told that he will be reciting an Indonesian poem on a South Sumatran television show.

2:00 pm: Matthew is driven to t.v. station where he finds a large group of students all lookin' super fresh in batiks (for the boys) and sparkly dresses (for the ladies). 

2:10 pm: Matthew sees that the television show features musical groups from high schools in Palembang. He watches the students rehearse their songs and is thoroughly impressed with the dope tracks. 

2:15 pm: Matthew learns that he has to memorize the poem that he was given and begins to frantically try to internalize the four-line piece written in Bahasa Palembang (local language).

2:25 pm: Some students teach me the necessary interpretive dance moves that must accompany my performance.

2:30: The students take the stage and I take my place in the audience. The show begins with a song and the host comes on stage.

2:35: The host calls Matthew onto stage. The host blurts lots of Indonesian words at Matthew while Matthew sweats under the hot lights and comprehends .02% of the words. Matthew sees himself in the monitor and realizes that he looks as baffled and out of place as he had imagined he looked. 

2:37: Matthew is plopped into the center of the boys' chorus stands. The students then begin to step out onto the stage to recite their own love poems in pairs, one boy and one girl at a time. They are performed in the fashion of Nick Cannon's 'Wild N' Out', with accompanying oooohs and aeeeeeehs from each group. Lots of laughing and making fun of each other. 

2:42: Host says something incomprehensible to Matthew and makes a motion of pouring water on his head. The crowd laughs. Matthew later discovers that the host was telling Matthew that he looked like he just took a bath. The lights were very hot. Plus Matthew was in Indonesia so he is sweating all of the time anyway.

2:50: Matthew is called up to perform his poem. He does his best. He thinks he says all of the words, but certainly butchers much of the pronunciation  He is not sure if everyone is laughing with him or at him, but he is used to this feeling by now. When Matthew is done, the host does some mocking motions and is most certainly making fun of Matthew's performance. Matthew maintains dumb smiley face and rejoins the boys. 

3:00: The show ends with a sweet song and some sick dance moves. The hot lights turn off and relief ensues.

Here is the poem that I was made to recite, with a (rough) translation below:

'Jalan-jalan ke kota Palembang,
jangan la lupo beli gulo-gulo.
Aku seneng idak kepalang.
Biso ketemu wong kito galo!

SMANLEE spektakuler!'

'Walking to the city of Palembang,
don't forget to buy candy.
I am happy without need for remark.
You can meet the people of Palembang!

SMANLEE (my school's nickname) is spectacular!' (followed by triumphant fist pump)

I will do my best to secure some pictures and possibly video footage of the fiasco. 

What I love most about this experience was that its occurrence did not surprise me in the least. I have come to expect that just about anything can happen at any time. Not only is the Indonesian lifestyle seemingly spontaneous, but the language barrier that still exists mandates that I have to be ready to do a lot of things with little explanation. It is quite a refreshing way to live. I would like to say that I'm sure things will slow down as I settle-in, but I really have no way of knowing. I guess we'll see what tomorrow brings and take it from there.

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